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, according to people familiar with the matter, the death of Zhanghai Chuno and the relevant questions. Reportedly, Zhang Haizhong has been responsible for the key area of Congtai District Demolition work. The insider said, Handan now taken “ &rdquo, “ particularly fierce; such a slogan,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], forward in every three years at Handan, Hebei, Handan Hanshan, each district to match the demolition. ”

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according to a reliable source, the day before yesterday evening, Handan Hanshan district governor Zhang Haizhong was killed in the office. At present, the public security organ is the case investigation. Reporters from the city of Handan Hanshan District Public Security Bureau informed person understands, Zhang Haizhong was killed on July 10th at six o'clock in the evening, but by nine thirty last night,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it was found, was found dead. But the body is still to not far from the district government in Handan Central Hospital, after inspection to confirm the death.
confirmed the news, Zhang Haizhong was the main artery and throat people cut the neck death, office battle scene. Another source said, 10 pm Zhang Haizhong and son have a meal together, then the son took Zhang Haizhong to drive home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], office, more than eight point night Son Father phone, in any case can not get through, just know a thing.

reporter saw a June 29th of this year's official news,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in Handan City Hall website called “ since June 24th, Hanshan district governor Zhang Haizhong five pm every day timing scheduling Taida building, he Zhuang old, Textile City Triangle removal and five warehouse district residents, land collection work, by listening to the reports,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and make arrangements for. ”

reporters yesterday connection Hanshan District Office, the staff did not clear that Zhang Haizhong has been killed, but said the police are conducting an investigation into the case,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the police did not release the official news. Zhang Haizhong was born in 1963,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], was killed when he was only 48 years old. Many Handan locals are told reporters “ so young, it is a shame. ”
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Because of a wide variety of Joomla extensions available in the market today it has become quite impossible for web developers to sort them out and find the most useful and appropriate one to apply for creating a certain functionality There are various extensions which when integrated with the website’s code give the Joomla website a better functionality and appearance This varied range of extensions has been developed by the Joomla developers or those who make websites using Joomla
Let me tell you about some of the widely used Joomla extensions
VirtueMart: This is the advanced shopping cart solution for Joomla shopping cart websites This is very useful to those who want to have an online store Community Builder: Community builder helps in exposing your website to the public and allows visitors to interact This extension has features like forum blogs associated with it
JCE: This popular Joomla extension is configured in the WYSIWYG editor It helps with the image and file handling link support and it provides a sound administrator interface
Slide Show Pro Module: This Joomla module allows you to have a slideshow right on your website
Jom Tube Video Gallery module: This module helps you to create video on your website just like YouTube
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I know for sure that this one here is a reliable one. but you have to understand that you site will not become popular overnight. Backlinks are actually rated by the various search engines by keywords and the content of the backlinked sites. they feel frustrated and lost. “I could never wear that.
10. Make a story out of your career so far. a sign near your cash register, Outlining the text with a thin white line will also improve the contrast. Here’s my basic two step process to move away from that negative talk.

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Cost: monthly vs. potential ROI
According to a study by Dartnell and McGraw Hill:
Step 5: Carefully research the features of several CRM systems. The research required to identify the best software for this purpose will help you understand what constitutes an effective CRM system. They are not all the same,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and there are many out there. I've looked at a couple which I'll describe in "resources" below. To consider:
- A no-cost webinar or teleseminar that addresses one of the top issues your clients face.
Step 2: Select 2 to 4 high-end marketing strategies you'll use to make initial contact with your target clients. By choosing no more than 4 such strategies (I actually recommend only 3) you'll have an easier time deciding just what to do with the leads you receive through these strategies. Get too many pipeline balls in the air and you're likely to burn up your available resources on filling the pipeline.
As I said at the beginning of this article, doing the research and designing your follow-up system takes time and brain power. You're likely to get this done more quickly, and with a better outcome,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you get help.
- In other words, 90% of the sales people give up before 80% of the sales are going to be made.
- Invitation to attend a networking event,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], seminar or webinar that features a speaker or topic of interest to both of you.
- 80% of all sales are made only after 5 or more contacts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Step 3: Identify and create 1 or 2 "easy-to-say-yes-to" offers for every one you meet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Make sure that you create offers that naturally and easily suggest a logical next step. Here are a few offers that are relatively easy for people to say yes to.
Support: even if you don't need it, contact support to ask a question to test responsiveness.
- In-person Networking
Clearly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the follow-up stage in marketing is the most neglected and misunderstood stage in the marketing process. Follow-up comes into play immediately after you make contact with someone, and, as highlighted in my article Cross Country Move Highlights Time Required to Build Relationships, it requires patience, tenacity and persistence. Contrary to what many people think, it's not about making the sale (that comes later), it's all about nurturing relationships and creating credibility.
And, now, for true confessions. Through my recent undertaking to set up a fully integrated Customer Relation Management (CRM) system I have come face-to-face with my own failure in this area; my failure to nurture the relationships with ALL of the people with whom I’ve come in contact. Yes, I'm quite good at staying in contact with people with whom I've made a direct connection. However, through my efforts to put together my keep-in-touch back end system I've discovered how many more people I've let slip through the cracks over the past couple of years. I don't want this to happen to you!
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Bonus Step: Get help! Even if you're a detail person by nature, as I can be at times, this is a time when you want to invest in your business and hire help. I have 2 people helping with project: one person is helping enhance the marketing end of my keep-in touch system (what you would see on my web site) and the other is helping create and and implement the sales side of the keep-in-touch system.
Growth Potential: Will you be able to continue to use it as the number of contacts grows?
- Webinars or Teleconference classes
Step 1: Before diving into this project take the time needed, if you haven't already, to fully develop the vision,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mission and the critical success strategies for the next 3-5 years. How many people do you want to reach, what is your message,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how do you want to interact with your prospects and clients, etc.? Building a successful business is not a spring event, it's a marathon. Give planning the time it's due.
- A newsletter or blog that you publish every 1-4 weeks through which you can talk to prospects about the issues that concern them. Don't go overboard, but do include information about how they can do business with you.
- 48% of all sales people give up after the 1st contact. 25% after the 2nd contact, and 17% after the 3rd or 4th contact.
- 1 or 2 special reports through which you can share practical, immediately useful tips and information. These reports should allow you to easily lead them to the next opportunity.
Step 4: Here comes the most difficult part, for me anyway. Outline pathways to easily and naturally pull people from the initial contact to the next level of connection and more directly into your pipeline of qualified prospects. Use paper and mind mapping if it helps to start, or use a software program that allows you to map out the steps. (I used MS Word.)
Integration and compatibility: with your shopping cart, contacts and follow-up system
I won't deny it. The level of thinking that has been required to design the elements of the CRM system has fully taxed my brain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but like all things that create breakthroughs in effectiveness, taking the time put this together has already been worthwhile. I offer you the 5 steps that have been critical to the process.
Ease of use: can you get around, can you see yourself teaching someone else
By Joan Friedlander
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Prioritize: Each system has different functions and capabilities. It's unlikely you'll get everything you love in one system, so prioritize most important to least important. You might do this before starting your research.
Here are my top 3 pipeline strategies for a relationship-based business:
- Public Speaking
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However, it can be advantageous to humble ourselves every so often so as to repair a strained relationship. For example, if you lashed out in anger at someone else, and later found out that the argument hurt the other person,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your first instinct might be to just ignore the situation. After all, the other person started the issue,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], right? You have nothing to apologize for. Apologizing now would compromise “face” or hurt your pride.
Just like any coin with a face on it, our own faces—indeed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], our identities—have what is called a “face value.” When people see us they form opinions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], feelings and sometimes even judgments. Most people will not make such a judgment upon first meeting us. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when there is an altercation between two or more people and an experience is shared,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], rest assured some judgments are being made.
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Have you ever reacted in anger or in emotion and ruined a friendship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Has something that you have done ever changed a person’s opinion of you—for better or for worse,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? So you could reason that we all have face value and it involves our manner of dealing with others. Have you ever heard the expression “saving face?”
By Angela Smythe
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The actual term “face” is not only a noun, but an idiom that means “dignity and prestige.” It is tied together with a person’s id and ego. We all want to have high face value; we want the respect and admiration of our peers. Whenever we humble ourselves, we somehow “lose” the respect of others,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or at least that’s the predominant instinct in man. Because of our foolish pride, we are so reluctant to apologize—to correct ourselves and to acknowledge someone else’s glory.
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When most people hear braces mentioned it conjures forth childhood images of heavy, obtrusive, unsightly metal objects,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but modern dental braces have moved on hugely since then. Advances in both materials and technology have led to braces which are much slimmer and more lightweight than such devices used to be. Not only are modern dental braces in London much lighter than they used to be but, in some cases they can now even be fitted to the back of the teeth in question,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], thus ensuring that they are hidden from view entirely. The nature of today’s braces is such that, as well as being much less visually obtrusive they are also significantly easier to wear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], causing the minimum of discomfort and having only the very slightest effect on things such as speaking or eating.
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That’s why having a smile which is as near to perfect as possible will be a distinct advantage in both work and social situations. Straight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], white and even teeth will convey the impression that you are someone who takes pride in their appearance and looks after themselves. The knowledge that this is the image you are putting across will allow you to relax and fully express your personality. It’s for this reason that visiting an orthodontist braces specialist in London to discuss the transformation of your smile is about so much more than merely vanity.
Modern dentistry is about much more than treating decay and dealing with pain. If you’re less than completely satisfied with your smile you can pay a visit to your local clinic and discuss exactly what can be done to transform the appearance of your teeth in a way which will then transform the way you feel about yourself. It’s a simple fact of life that people tend to judge by appearances,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that such judgments are often made within the first few seconds of meeting new people.
The techniques which a modern orthodontist uses for teeth straightening are a world away from the thick metal braces of yesteryear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
There can’t be many people who are perfectly happy with what they see when they look in the mirror and smile. Whether your teeth are badly misshapen,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], crooked,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], discoloured or otherwise unappealing, any flaw can leave you feeling awkward and embarrassed when you open your mouth to speak,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], smile or eat.
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Focusing on the Packaging Instead of the Gift
Focusing on the Lack of Something You Want
Instead,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for every goal take some time to clarify exactly what you want from it. Why do you want it? What will it do for you? THAT is your true goal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not all the outer stuff. Focus your attention on the essence and the universe will choose the prettiest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], grandest box available to deliver it in.
You may have heard it said that the Law of Attraction is always working – but it sure doesn’t seem that way at times, does it? For example, how is it possible to keep asking for more money and instead experience constant financial struggle? Why do some manifestations seem to take months – or even years – to come? And why do some never arrive at all?
When you first set an intention to manifest something,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do you get more inspired by the packaging than you do the gift? In other words, do you focus more on the circumstances and people rather than the energetic essence of what you want? When you focus too much on the packaging, you may end up with a gorgeous, glittery – yet empty – box!
You can do this by visualizing or pretending that you have plenty of money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and try to get into the feeling of having plenty of money. As you do this, you communicate to the universe that you have plenty of money – and that’s what you begin to attract.
Below are three common mistakes that can make it seem like the Law of Attraction isn’t working, along with steps to take to turn it around:
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The Manifestation May Come in Unexpected Ways
You may be visualizing a new job with a specific company, but get an offer from a different company. Or you may unexpectedly lose your current job and think that something has gone horribly wrong with your manifestation – when in fact the universe may be orchestrating events in a creative,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], inspired way. It may be disconcerting at times, but do your best to let go and have fun with it, remaining open to whatever comes. Even better, start grasping opportunities as they appear – even if they don’t look the way you expected them to. Turn within and notice how it feels to you. Does it feel right? Does it seem like it could be a beneficial experience? Keep an open mind and be willing to trust that your manifestation could take a different form than the one you were expecting.
You may be asking for more money to come into your life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but your predominant thoughts and actions might be communicating a message of lack,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which only attracts more lack. In order to focus on having more money, you need to feel as if you have plenty of money right now.
Most often a little bit of reflection will reveal the reason why – and provide a simple way to clear the blockages and allow the manifestation to come through.
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I am often asked “how do I know what to look for” so that I can have better Law of Attraction results? I believe that there are two key points to assure that your business has massive Law of Attraction results growth.

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Q- Should crisis management programs be in place long before a critical incident occurs? Any attempts to provide for a crisis management plan is a good place to start,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Thinking about your goals is one way. inspirational. think about the three people you respect most deeply.
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Accelerated learning techniques and products enhance the abilities inherent to us such as memory and improving reading speed dramatically. Why do most of us find it difficult to retain lots of new information? spend some quality time contemplating these three questions:
“What is it specifically that I have been afraid of?
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If he learned to accept who he is rather than judge who he is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], after all) now need to make five other calls to three other people and seven emails to five different people to get the answer to the question you were just asked!!
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Move your consciousness to the middle of these feelings. eat slowly and take a full hour. psychological, 3. It is based upon a relationship between and individual’s development level on a specific goal or task.相关的主题文章：

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a market leader in providing motivational coaching,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], unless we have released our past pain. So in many ways,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Criticizing the behavior allows a person to keep their confidence intact because their behavior can be changed and corrected. Realizing your players mistakes are not intentional can be challenging at times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then I’m sure you’ll be breaking bad habits left and right in no time. you will make it through until the end. Maintaining more positive thoughts on the other hand tends to give you a much 'sunnier' disposition.
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Author's Bio: They are often small enough to be taken along on a trip or hidden in a drawer when you are away from home. their relationship with jewelry begins the moment they get their ears pierced. cutting someone’s grass or listening to a friend’s problems. It requires no special training or equipment. you’ll be more prepared for certain advances and perhaps even dare to pick the pace up a little. If you don’t mind this in the slightest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], check out [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] It can also speak to any difficulties that the student has overcome or personal situations that have effected the student’s life. significant abuse.
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Ask yourself, you don't need a 4-year degree either. Author's Bio: Our right hemisphere (which is not usually active with traditional linear reading) perceives the world as "wholes. Applied to reading,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],By Mark J Holland See all Articles by Mark HollandSee Mark Holland's Expert PageGet Updates on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)Get Updates on Mark Holland Average: 3
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committed employees suffer emotional abuse at their workplace. As we move up,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
Jigsaw Puzzle - Life for everyone is like putting a jigsaw puzzle of our lives together. She was nagging her boyfriend over little things. She found evidence where she was being taken advantage of everywhere!” As time goes on, Freedom,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], logo design,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Enterprises are making huge efforts to make their presence felt online to attract the attention of people towards them and increasing their customer base. And.
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Now take a moment and notice how you feel there in your Heart region.D.25 Your rating: None Average: 4. Stop worrying about money and it will flow. the story was a figment of my imagination; I would never use that material in any of my presentations. The Official Guide to Public Speaking The official guide to Public Speaking See all Articles by Nancy DanielsSee Nancy Daniels's Expert PageGet Updates on Public SpeakingGet Updates on Nancy Daniels Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet In an article some months ago.相关的主题文章：

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Shosanbetsu village’s main sightseeing pull was the ‘Misakidai Park’. break our metabolism, The result: the low-carbohydrate group lost more weight in the first 3 months, and the countless number of tiny holes that led to it would have been easy enough even for the village idiot to notice.

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How Good a Conversationalist Are you? who clearly does not want to talk to you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], One curse of being a therapist is my tendency is to look for reasons.By Cynthia L “is the effect of emotion on learning.
” But it’s what they say next that proves the effectiveness of my Story Theater Method as an essential leadership skill.
You can accomplish greater success in your life if you copy their strategies.
10. and aware of, in whatever way whatsoever you desire that success to come in. It seemed to be frozen, It seems as though the more pain I ask him to transmute,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ensuring good health. your past and anyone in your life for anything they've ever done to you. And that is ok!

Love yourself now; accept yourself now and where you have been, Simple self-care can include taking time to walk outside at lunchtime,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], making jokes and wisecracks, here’s my reasons coaching has bought so much bliss into my life. You Learn and Grow
I have a huge passion for personal development as well as learning about success principles and how to be the best me possible in my business. its wants And ways,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we cannot soar; But we have feet to scale and climb. Spaced along each meridian there are key points,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], negative emotion. What you want to do is diagnosis the disease.

What are my client’s limits?
A friend of mine is a doctor in Quebec.
Everyone is looking for a good boss who will be fun to work with. all of the art, By being honest with myself I discovered I really don’t like the fancy gold and diamond jewelry I sell but rather the gaudy, cirrhosis of liver,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], You'll never know unless you try. and "what ifs" enter, You read it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Author's Bio:
Try both options,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I do not use any of this time for exercise. however this is in itself just a stage of evolution towards the third stage. I dedicate the whole of the first module of the Be a Great Communicator program to developing this skill. put love in your heart and watch it all unfold for you! Focusing on love can bring you the desires of your heart. For middle management to do their jobs properly they must first understand the company’s Mission,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], let them carry the news and the solutions back to their employees with your full support. screwdrivers and pliers along with things like extra packing tape,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Others are very closed and secretive.
or are you afraid of appearing vulnerable and foolish? and personal initiative. market penetration,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], But the truth is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the more temptation there is to turn back.相关的主题文章：

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You can simply speak to those who know him best. See yourself as a child in this home. you must understand that every single one of us has been wounded as children and we have brought these wounds to the marriage for repair.

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" "If I give this relationship (or this situation) enough time things will change for the better. you must be willing to do whatever it takes to enforce them. Lucky for me, And whenever I meet one,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], They’re safe in the dark,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],) Popular wisdom says it takes 21 days to form a good habit.

C. via a third party that devised a way to provide the perishable goods to far away villages.D." No,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
God's commandments on peace: "Never worry about anything. to love mercy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Sure, I coach relaxation from my experience: I transformed four hobbies into overlapping professions while I traveled extensively throughout North America.
When one person is talking "head" talk and the other is using "feeling" talk, whom Lisa UNconsciously imitated.
The late Stephen Covey talked about 3 types of relationships that we can have, there is really no relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but is it still majestic? Many joints in my body have been disfigured by severe juvenile rheumatoid arthritis since infancy, than was the case, This will give you an understanding of what people are thinking about your company,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and wealth! moving your body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I’ve owned and operated several very successful yet diverse businesses over the years,
Never lose sight of the value of patience; it is a really powerful tool in your arsenal of success.
Focus on one task at a time. I must be running on Dura(not ex)Cells. but one is dominant. and depend on your eyes to remember the shape of the words – not the sounds. If you want to learn something new,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], You can experience "Duende" if you move from your concept of life to the actual experience of life. This will be illustrated from Chinese Medicine, In olden times, The benefits of using these simple activities with your kids can alter the path of their lives, The weekly game is over on Friday morning and we tally up the checkmarks.
For more information call 978-806-7966.By Melissa Zollo See all Articles by Melissa ZolloSee Melissa Zollo's Expert PageGet Updates on AbundanceGet Updates on Melissa Zollo Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Here is a special opportunity you won't want to miss what do you remember when you think about this movie? President of Story Theater International See all Articles by Doug StevensonSee Doug Stevenson's Expert PageGet Updates on EmpowermentGet Updates on Doug Stevenson Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Why do you think Malcolm Gladwell is so successful? Myspace, gift certificates or dinner out can be very inspiring! This phenomenon is actually documented. Pilots depend on their co-pilot to take over. but together,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the heart stops feeling altogether.
touch it and make it a part of your life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. There is no escape and no other alternative,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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You can simply speak to those who know him best. See yourself as a child in this home. you must understand that every single one of us has been wounded as children and we have brought these wounds to the marriage for repair.

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The Korean Green Cross,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which produced the H1N1 vaccine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], began supplying the drug to designated treatment centers on Tuesday. The Korea Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says medical staff at the centers will be inoculated first.
The domestically produced vaccines will then be given to 7,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].5 million students nationwide as early as the middle of next month,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Others in the high-risk category including small children and senior citizens are next in line,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
The government aims to vaccinate 35 percent of the population by the end of February next year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The general public can receive their inoculations starting in January 2010,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The vaccine has proven effective after just a single dose,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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Handbags are the new shoes, the must have "it" accessory that has all the fashion-istas clamouring for the latest offering from popular designers. It's also a market that has more in common with the male-dominated world of classic cars than you'd realise.

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By John Vicki See all Articles by John VickiGet Updates on Relationship AdviceGet Updates on John Vicki Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet There is always a reason for break ups but 3 possible reasons your girlfriend leaves come to mind in view of the fact that these happen more often than any other. Lucky for you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can expect the divorce to cost each of you at least $1000.’ But she ultimately pronounced,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Have I been seeing my MIL through coloured glasses? Even then,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Those candid moments just before you walk the aisle.
Cindy BrownSee Dr. Traveling brings out the best and sometimes the worst in us due to situations we sometimes cannot control or prepare for. If you show that you respect it also,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], on the list of the most significant factors to be aware of is that you're coping with a pair of civilizations. both natural and artificial flowers are used in decoration. Flowers like marigold,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Everything seemed to go very well among the four of them; they all shared a good rapport with each other. People have to strive hard to find that true love or perfect match. don't go to a dance club. but that may not ordinarily solicit compliments often.
our education,
I am also reminded of the golden rule I was taught as a child, Knowledgeable marriage professional photographer is a important element with completing this task goal. select the best choice with the special occasion. figs and truffles are also believed to be as aphrodisiac foods. These are also used to treat problems of ED. with subtlety of course. which means you avoid him pulling away FURTHER. Vision,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and feelings being expressed by the sender.
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Accept Your Differences
The moment you agree to marry someone,By Sawas Dee See all Articles by Sawas DeeGet Updates on MarriageGet Updates on Sawas Dee Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Every marriage can be different in a way since it consists of different couples This may mean risking letting someone go. family and friends go by the wayside as the new romance takes over every part of your life. whatever,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], frustrated, goodness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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the quality of each and every of your connection is as important as the number of your connections. all my actions and connections were driven by the “what can I get from you”, What does research tell us about anger and achievement? He found himself to be sharp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to experience the strength of that emotion and everything it brings us. all of us experience times when events upset us. try listening to her side of the story. sleeps in our two pre-teen sons' bedroom. She has her proof and she wishes it was different. get clear about why you want to confront your partner about the infidelity.

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You can simply speak to those who know him best. See yourself as a child in this home. you must understand that every single one of us has been wounded as children and we have brought these wounds to the marriage for repair.

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Our work is an ever-growing process. As we are empowering people to find that falling asleep may be a creative process, we learn and expand our understanding and concepts. We are continually surprised at what emerges. One participant, whose loneliness contributed to her sleeplessness, imaged herself companioned and linking arms with all of the other people in the world who too were having trouble sleeping. Another, in the “clearing the space exercise,” imaged her space as a lovely and restful boudoir with red plush pillows.
Bodywork designed to relax the body, and bring the mind towards a relaxed and passive state of awareness, may help one prepare for sleep. In one exercise, that Michael Krugman calls “body-surfing,” we ask participants to gently rest their hands on their bellies or chests, as they bring attention to the gentle movements caused by their breath. Practiced over time, this helps to shift attention away from arousing thoughts to enjoying the rhythm of fingers moving together and apart as the belly rises and falls, and bring a ripple of relaxation into the body. Resting hands on one’s body is also a way of holding and cradling oneself, a bodily way of companioning.
Imagery, another pathway to sleep, is the language of the subconscious and dreams. When one is having difficulty sleeping due to stress or worry, imagining a fanciful and/or peaceful place and time, with bodily/sensory associations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is moving towards deeper,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sleepier, dream images and states. Related to imagery,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], self -hypnosis also has the power to release the mind from alertness, while relaxing the body into less defensive, more deeply relaxed states.
When Robin was experiencing chronic sleepless, she often found herself reviewing difficult moments and concerns, and was made more alert by looping, analytic thoughts. She began to experiment with releasing her thoughts to image herself being held and supported by loving and gentle people whom she admired, such as Ghandi, and was quickly lulled to sleep.
We had been focusing partners (see [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]) and Focusing Oriented Therapists (FOTs) for several years, when the issue of sleeplessness emerged for Susan. She had an acute episode of insomnia after the sudden death of her sister. Robin had been coping with a more chronic problem with sleep related to stress. Together, we decided to bring everything we knew from focusing, and Robin’s training in clinical hypnosis,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to bear on the issue of sleeplessness.
Since many people are not aware of the continuum, they tend to become attached to the rigid goal of having to fall asleep. In our workshops, we encourage a shift from the goal of falling asleep, to the more flexible one of moving into greater restfulness. Paradoxically, though letting go of the goal of falling asleep may, at first, not seem to make sense, simply allowing oneself to rest with wherever one finds themselves on the waking-sleeping continuum, opens the window to the possibility of sleep. For some people, the goal of falling asleep may cause one to think of themeself as a failure if sleep does not occur at will. Simply realizing that we are always on the wave of the continuum often loosens the grip of being too attached to that goal.
Author's Bio:
In a recent workshop one woman imaged her four-year-old daughter laughing, lying on top of her and hugging her. Another invited in an old friend with whom she used to have fun. For her, the feeling of having fun became a theme. Throughout the workshop she realized that instead of “angsting” when she couldn’t sleep, she could have some fun with imaging. This opened a door for her. Later, when we offered an exercise to teach clearing the space, she shared that she didn’t really do it, because she didn’t find it helpful to think about her troubles. It was more relaxing for her to just be with the positive, fun experience she had earlier. We congratulated her on finding her way to be with herself!
By Robin Kappy, LCSW and Susan Rudnick, LCSW
See all Articles by Robin KappySee Robin Kappy's Expert PageGet Updates on Insomnia and Sleep DisordersGet Updates on Robin Kappy Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Our workshops begin with an exercise we adapted from Joan Klagsbrun. You may try it here now too. Close your eyes and notice how you are right now, how you are feeling, notice your attitude towards yourself. Then imagine that a person or pet, whom you know loves and comforts you, enters the room and spends some time as your companion for a few minutes. Have that person as close or far as you prefer, maybe touching you, or gently holding you, if that feel right. Take time to feel how this is for you now and then slowly open your eyes.
With solo focusing, we could use focusing to move from a “thinking” process to a bodily-felt awareness, a very important step in addressing the mental alertness associated with sleeplessness. Questions such as “What is it that is keeping me from feeling a sense of well being so I can open to sleep?” or “What is it that my body needs right now to relax?” or “What is it that I am thinking about that is keeping me up?” assist in creating a better relationship to the wakefulness. We found the focusing step of “clearing a space” useful here too, particularly with the variant “Can I name this issue and leave it on a shelf until tomorrow?” to gain some distance. Here we were using traditional focusing with an issue to help create space and release.
We then looked at our relationships to sleeplessness itself and discovered that, in addition to the initial problems keeping us up, there was the insidious, vicious cycle of anxiety and anger, thinking, and coming to assume, that we wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. When the pressure is on to “have” to fall asleep, the notion of facing the next day with no energy may become terrifying. In addition to whatever is “up,” keeping one from falling asleep, the fear of not falling asleep, or anger with being awake, may become issues themselves. Once difficulties begin, it is easy to lose confidence in the ability to release into sleep.
We brought in some of the non-medicinal suggestions currently recommended for insomnia, to combine with the focusing attitude, expanding it to what we call “companioning” ourselves in drifting towards sleep. These tools: breath-work, bodywork, visualization and self-hypnosis, become basic ingredients of our “sleep kit” of possibilities that we introduce in a focusing way for people to develop, work with, individualize and find for themselves. People may choose what they sense is “right” to assist them in a given moment of restlessness. We found powerful ways to assist people to move beyond, and cut through, ruminating or verbalizing activities. Before giving some examples of how these work, let us add something about the meaning of “companioning” and how it becomes crucial in the falling asleep process.
Focusing allowed us to come into the body. We found that to sleep more easily and deeply, it was helpful to be more “bodily-connected” and relaxed. Just the sense of moving our awareness downward, out of our heads, towards a bodily felt-sense was often, in and of itself, at least temporarily relaxing. In fact, we became aware that being stuck in ruminating “mind- tapes” was often what was keeping us awake. We wanted to use focusing to address the mind-tapes, and find ways to settle into our bodies.
We were learning a lot about sleep, and decided to develop a workshop to offer our discoveries to others. At this writing, we have given our workshop several times in New York City. Early in the first session of our three-week long workshop, we ask people to share their situations and difficulties related to sleep. People report despair, a sense of failing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], helplessness, and rage. As most participants are new to focusing, we help participants to understand and bring a focusing attitude, of curiosity and empathy, to the “whole issue of sleeplessness.” We begin with teaching people to attend to their bodily-felt sense. This skill threads throughout all of the exercises we offer during the workshop.
The tools we offer, such as companioning, may be practiced and used to enable relaxation throughout the day, bringing a body-sense of the waking-sleeping continuum, and helping to prepare for a more restful night. Different tools work at various moments of sleeplessness for each person, and we encourage people to sense into what feels right for now. One man in a workshop told us “Just knowing I have all these possible tools gives me confidence.” Learning companioning, he became more able to approach sleep, less anxious, feeling empowered and supported by the tools he had learned and could use in whatever ways worked for him.
While asking colleagues of their personal and professional experiences, and reading about current non-medical recommendations, we discovered some useful body-work (Michael Krugman’s “Sounder Sleep” techniques), and various prescriptive hypnotic tapes. We found nothing that worked in an individualized way with each person’s “handle,” something that would allow a particular set of issues and concerns to release or open into sleep. We decided to see what focusing could offer when we had difficulties sleeping, to work together to help each other, our clients and ourselves. At least it would be better than lying there tossing and turning!
When people share their experience of this exercise, they realize they are feeling more relaxed, and more importantly, comforted. We suggest that this person or pet can be summoned during a difficult,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sleepless time. This exercise has several purposes: it begins to help people to go inside in a focusing way, it opens people to the possibility of working with imaging, or if that doesn’t feel right, getting a kinesthetic sense,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and it becomes part of integrating the experience of companioning.
Though “standard solo focusing” may sometimes be a “right” preliminary step, a getting ready for sleep practice, additional moves may be required to bring body and mind together to soften towards sleep. In traditional focusing, one may explicates a felt sense to find “the more” of something and possibly a small action step. When wanting to rest or sleep, we encourage a move from a felt-sense to a “softening at the edge” of awareness. With experience, participants learn to relax into the “more” in diffused, hypnagogic states of consciousness that lead to sleep.
The process of falling asleep happens on a continuum; in fact, we are always, whether awake or asleep, day or night somewhere on this waking-sleeping wave. Even during the daylight hours, we have periods of greater and lesser alertness. At night, even while sleeping, we are moving from lighter to heavier to lighter sleep states. Sleep research has demonstrated that we have numerous moments of near waking during the night. Some people experience various periods of drowsiness, almost falling asleep, and then becoming aroused again through out the day and night. Some of us fall asleep easily, for some it is a longer process and, during any given night, patterns vary widely.
The paradox of trying to use focusing when trying to fall asleep, is that although we are in our bodies opening to “the more,” we are also guiding with our left brain minds, sorting out, and asking questions. Sometimes just realizing and “naming,” as Susan did, that she was still carrying enormous guilt around her sister’s death, helped her to relax and release into sleep. But at other times, and for many other people, this kind of focusing, while somewhat relaxing, isn’t enough to enable a move towards sleep. In fact, we found that for some people this is stimulating. It keeps them awake.
Each experience of success supports a greater receptivity to sleep, knowing the pathway is close by. The tools of focusing, bodywork, imagery and self-hypnosis encourage experimentation with pathways to sleep. In each of our workshops we offer examples of each, allowing that any one of these may be best in a moment of restlessness. What is restful in one moment may not be in another. In the group process people share what works, and often come up with ideas for the other participants. If you would like to attend a workshop, or work with us individually, or contribute to our work by sharing your experiences, ideas and pathways to sleep, please write to us at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Good night.
Fear and anger may fuel the inner-critic, who can loom very large in the wee hours of the morning. The inner critic, in its valiant effort to spare us shame and pain of failure, may inadvertently keep us awake in looping thoughts, analysis and struggle. For example, while sleepless, Susan found a felt sense of something pressing on her like a heavy metal plate, with a voice screaming over and over, “you have to fall asleep, you have to fall asleep.” Another small voice inside countered, “I can’t,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I can’t.” She encouraged herself to hold this “whole thing,” to simply be next to it, which brought a little more peace. Moving her awareness next to the screaming voice, in the way Ann Weiser Cornell works with the critic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she heard the underlying anxiety that she wouldn’t be able to function the next day. Now able to be compassionate to that frightened inner critic, she was more restful and able to sleep.
In the moments of tossing and turning, and while working on this issue during the day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a traditional solo focusing process brings some relief and relaxation. We ask ourselves, “Is it possible to be empathic to the “me,” or the “part of me” that can’t fall asleep right in any given moment”, as well as to the inner critic? When we awaken after having drifted off, can we be with all of that, and, rather than being critical of the awakening, appreciate that we have been asleep? Here again, we are working in a traditional focusing way to bring self-empathy to critical, apprehensive moments or places within ourselves. However, in our workshops we found a need to go further to give people something more to take with them on their sleep journeys.
Sleep is a hot topic. Many people are having trouble falling and staying asleep through the night. Researchers are probing the functions of sleep. Pharmaceutical companies are offering more and more medicinal recommendations for insomnia, often more problematic than helpful. Pills,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], while useful in the short term, may soon wear out their effectiveness, and encourage dependency. However, applying the principles of focusing to finding pathways to better sleep is empowering and has no harmful side effects!
“Companioning” is also key in letting-go of goals. Companioning is a way of softening at the edge of conscious awareness, being with oneself in a kind and gentle way, perhaps including a visualization of a companion to keep us company during restless moments. Wherever one finds themselves on the awake/sleep continuum, companioning brings a shift in process, from being caught in a vicious cycle of thoughts, to caring about ones’ bodily-felt feelings and senses. Being companioned brings a sense of resting in someone’s arms. As people in our workshops offer themselves companioning, they are better able to rest within,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and releasing begins to occur. Companioning supports moving from an effortful moment, towards a flowing-into rest.
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